Divorce can be a scary time. You can be afraid of making mistakes, admitting that you have problems or accountability. The result can be a reactive divorce where you fight your spouse.
If you want your divorce to be collaborative, you need to be ready to separate your lives on all levels. Here are a few questions to ask yourself to ensure you are ready for a low-conflict divorce.
1. Could you still feel for your spouse?
Many people who want to end their marriage still have feelings for their spouse, but the lack of intimacy is making the relationship difficult. If you are in this position, try to work on your marriage before asking for a divorce so you do not end up in a worse-off place than you currently are.
2. Are you married?
For a couple to be truly married, you need to have a deep relationship. Many married couples are no more than individuals meeting certain needs. They might have raised kids and lived together, but they were never unified. They put their desires before the relationship. If this is you, you probably are ready for a divorce because you never truly had a marriage.
3. Are you being sincere or angry?
When you are ready to divorce your partner, you must ensure that your decision is sincere. You will need to let go of your emotional attachment to that person. That includes any anger that might be driving your decision. Divorcing someone out of anger will leave you still feeling angry.
If you address all of these questions, you will ready yourself for a more collaborative divorce. That will leave you will lasting agreements with your spouse, a cohesive parenting plan and respect for each other.